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How to Choose Your Bridesmaids

You all should know by now how much I love Lauren Conrad.  She’s an excellent example of poise and grace, but she’s also a powerhouse, which is what I love so much.  (If you haven't seen this, you should watch it.)  We watched her grow up on Laguna Beach and The Hills, and now she’s married!  She and former Something Corporate guitarist (who is now a lawyer), William Tell, got married last Saturday in Southern California. Isn't this gorgeous?

lc wedding 2I’ve been following her blog as she planned the wedding, and have found some really cool information on there.  But today’s post really resonates with me.

Today, she explained how she chose her bridesmaids.  You can read it here.

What I liked so much about it was that it basically said “you do you.”  She has a lot of friends, and she thought it was perfectly fine to outfit them all as bridesmaids.  (There were ten!)  She even designed their dresses for them!  I wish I was that talented.

I’ve been struggling with this a lot.  I have a lot of friends, and I’ve been in a lot of weddings.  But people change, and relationships change and grow, and I’m in a different place now than I thought I would be when I graduated from college, for example.  There was a long time where I was hoping that H would be the deciding factor – he’d pick his groomsmen, and I would know how many bridesmaids I could have.  (I, personally, want the sides to be even.  But that’s the mathy side of me.)  But it’s been hard for him too – he was in a fraternity in college, so he feels that a lot of his friends are on an equal playing field.  It’s been just as difficult for him to choose as it’s been for me.

LC also says that, for her, the number didn’t matter.  Ten is a lot of bridesmaids, though!  I don’t think I could handle ten.  But we’re looking at either five or six, and that’s a little more manageable.

I have always been a peacekeeper.  (But not like in The Hunger Games, because those guys are not very peaceful.)  I want to please everyone.  But this is the one day in my life where things are actually going to be about me.  I rarely let that happen.  I hate being in the spotlight.  I hate making people feel anything other than happy.  But I can’t choose everyone.  People are going to be unhappy, I’m sure.  But that’s life, isn’t it?

I know I’ve already made some people unhappy with my choices for the wedding.  And as much as I hate that, I can’t please everyone with the vision in my head.  It’s my vision, after all.  And anyway, the wedding itself isn’t the best part.  The marriage is the best part.  The wedding is just a big party.

So, how am I going to choose?  I’ve been developing an equation.  (For the record, family, is exempt from this equation.)  It’s a delicate equation that looks a little something like this:bridesmaid equation

Is it perfect?  No.  Definitely not.  And no, I haven’t asked anyone officially yet, so don’t even start.  But I want the people standing up with me to have my back, 100% of the time.  There aren’t a lot of people like that in the world.  I’m very privileged to have many friends who fit the criteria.  Choosing has been causing me stress, making me lose sleep.  But I think I’ve got it.  I think I have it narrowed down.

Although it feels like I change my mind every five seconds, sometimes.

Does anyone have any other advice, aside from what LC said?

-A.

Running with Reactive Hypoglycemia

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