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Pretty Little Liars, "No One Here Can Love or Understand Me"

LUCY HALE, SHAY MITCHELL, ASHLEY BENSON, TROIAN BELLISARIOThe episode begins with the four Liars walking toward the police station, discussing turning Alison in.  Then the televisions in a store window (which I’m pretty sure they don’t display like that anymore) all turn to the same picture – a picture of Alison wearing a candy striper outfit, after visiting Hanna at the hospital.  Remember that, from season 1?  Then, the screens all say “We’re all in this together,” although they don’t feature a dancing Zac Efron, which is really just too bad.  They realize that they can’t go to the police now, because it will look like they’re lying about knowing Alison was alive all that time.  Spencer, for her part, wants to throw a brick through the window, but the other girls stop her.  A leaves one final message for them:  “Act normal, bitches.”  Wow.  Awesome beginning. Emily and Spencer are at the Brew, drinking decaf coffee, because they wanted some whipped cream.  Hanna went to check on Caleb, apparently, and Aria went home.  Emily tells Spencer to save her brick-throwing for when they actually meet A.  Spencer and Emily both ignore calls from Alison, and Emily explains why she had been defending Alison all this time.  She admits that she wishes she could fix things with Paige (finally!).  Emily clearly has some doubts about Alison’s innocence in the whole Cyrus Petrillo affair.

Hanna arrives at Caleb’s and finds him sleeping in a chair.  Like, passed out in a chair.  And she goes in to kiss him, and it appears that he was about to attack her.  Yikes!  He won’t say much, but it’s pretty clear that Ravenswood did something bad to him.  Hanna implores him to stop drinking, and he won’t agree.  Come on, Caleb.  Snap out of it!  They agree that A is always one step ahead, though, which is something we (as viewers) have known all along.

Ezra is… grading papers?  He’s not a teacher anymore, right?  Maybe he’s marking up his own writing?  Anyway, there’s a knock at the door, and it’s Emily.

Aria arrives home to find Mona and Mike hanging out and studying.  Mona gets up to get Mike some more hot chocolate, and I have to admit, it sounds like she smoked a pack this morning.  Sexy?  Maybe?

Emily explains to Ezra that they need his help with the Cyrus Petrillo thing.  He’s good at snooping, and he should get to it.  They agree that someone has something on Cyrus to make him confess to the police.  Ezra agrees to the terms.  As in, “yay, Aria’s friends don’t all hate me anymore!”

Aria and her dad have a frank discussion about how much neither of them like Mona.  Byron says that they can’t do much about it, so they just agree to keep an eye on them.  He’s actually acting like a cool dad.  Weird.

The four Liars discuss Mike and Mona at school and agree that it’s bad news.  Then, Hanna has a bad thought.  She says that A likes to see them suffer.  Which is old news, Hanna.  But then she becomes brilliant.  She asks who, besides A, wants to keep them quiet.  Aria suggests Mona.  But Emily is the one who narrows in on Alison.  Spencer agrees that that is, indeed, a bad thought.

Hanna then asks Spencer how to help Caleb with his stuff, and Spencer gives her addiction advice.  They agree to find a way to try to make Caleb see some reason.

Emily talks to Paige about Sydney being evil (I had almost forgotten about that!), and Paige says that she’s a really good swimmer.  They agree to keep an eye on Sydney in the locker room and in the pool.  Emily then tries to set up a time to have a talk with Paige, who says she’s busy that night, but maybe another?  I want Paily back together so badly!!  On a different note, what the hell is Emily wearing?

At Spencer’s house, she calls Toby to ask if he can talk with Caleb, because they have a bromance and what not.  Hanna rolls her eyes at their attempt at flirting.  But they set up a meeting, and they are all hopeful that it will help.  I’m with them.  I want the old Caleb back.

Hanna then notices something behind Spencer’s door.  It’s a card from Melissa, saying that she’s gone.  It certainly seems like Mr. Hastings ran Melissa out of town.

Hanna fills the other girls in on the Melissa situation as they walk downtown.  In other news, Aria’s shirt has a cougar on it.  Ironic.  What’s the male version of a cougar?  Anyway, Hanna has another bad though, which immediately makes the other two girls stop to listen.  This one involves how Alison left town, since A wasn’t going to let her.  They think she made a deal with someone.  Does Alison know A?  Okay, I’m going to ask the question they’ve been hinting at all episode – is Alison A?

Then, Detective Grumpy Gills arrives.  She wants to talk.

Spencer, meanwhile, is making out with Toby and talking about how much she likes him as an authority figure.  She explains where her missing family is, or is not.  They discuss the Caleb situation.  Spencer says he looks haunted, and Toby agrees.  He says that it’s something besides drinking that is the problem.

DGG tells the girls that they’re going to catch Cyrus, and then asks them who they think killed Bethany Young.  WHOA.  THEY DON’T HAVE PARENTS PRESENT.  DGG basically says she’s been trying her damnedest to find a connection between Bethany and the Liars, but she can’t.  Gosh darn it.  Wow!  She is aggressive in her illegality!  When she leaves, Aria says she might be sick, and Emily tells her to hold it.  Ha.  Yikes.

Spencer calls Hanna to discuss the Caleb situation, and Hanna blurts out that DGG thinks the girls killed Bethany Young.  Whoa there, Hanna.  Just… WHOA.  There’s a knock on Spencer’s door, and she asks Toby to get it, all the while trying to get more information from Hanna.  Hanna makes a good point – there was no connection between them and Bethany Young… until they started digging.  They made connections in that way.  Huh.

Toby is all sassy when he hands Spencer a package from Melissa… which contains the video from last week!  Spencer watches is… cue the drumroll, this is what we’ve all been waiting for!  Oh… okay, it’s some information, but it’s not as much as I was hoping to get.  So, Melissa saw Spencer walk away from arguing with Alison, dragging a shovel behind her.  And then she saw the body… which she assumed was Alison.  So Melissa buried the body!  Alive!  She thought she was protecting Spencer, but Spencer didn’t do that to Bethany Young.  So… who did?  And what was Bethany doing wearing Alison’s clothes?

At the Caleb intervention, Spencer is a wreck.  Hanna and Toby are discussion how to get Toby to talk.  Hanna is trying to choreograph the whole thing, and Toby isn’t having it.  As soon as Caleb walks up, they do the bro-greeting, and then Toby goes, “so Hanna says you’ve been having trouble sleeping.  What’s the deal with that?”  Yeah, SUUUUUPER subtle, Toby.  Sheesh.  Caleb almost walks out, but Toby somehow convinces him to stay.  Also, Caleb is wearing plaid over stripes, and usually I would comment on this fashion faux paus, but he’s cute.  So it kind of works for him.

Emily, meanwhile, is working at the Brew when she comes across Paige… getting two coffees, with her hair all done, wearing a cling-to-me dress.  Clearly, Paige is on a date.  And she is shocked to see Emily.pll no on 1  Emily’s all like, “you never dressed up like that for me!”

Aria shows up at the theater… so see Mona in her mother’s seat.  Not only that, but Mona is clinging to Mike like she’s about to fall off a cliff or something.  I can’t believe they didn’t give her a seat next to her dad or something.  Oh!  And Paige is indeed on a date!  At the same theater as Aria.  Aria eyes her up unashamedly, and Paige notices.  That’s what I love about this show – they’re so normal about the lesbian stuff.  That’s exactly what a girl would do if they saw their friend’s exboyfriend out with someone else.  It’s so ordinary.  I love it.

Back at the Grill, the girls are talking about how the boys are talking.  Hanna asks about keeping secrets, and she certainly asked the right person, because Spencer is an expert.  Caleb is still pretty clammed up, and Toby tries to get him to talk.  But Toby pushes him too far, and Caleb gets up and leaves.  Hanna chases after him, but it’s too late.  He gets away.

Aria is not enjoying this oldie movie at all.  She whispers something in Mona’s ear that appears to terrify her, and she gets up to go to the bathroom.  Paige and Mike both watch her leave.

Spencer and Toby are talking about how Toby’s intervention was unsuccessful.  Toby’s pretty upset about it, but he can tell that Spencer is upset, too.  She decides to sort of tell Toby about the video, without being specific about it at all.

Emily and Ezra meet up at the Brew to discuss Ezra’s findings.  Apparently, Cyrus Petrillo is one of many aliases, and there’s a picture of him with Alison at an ATM sixteen months prior.  Emily is pretty sure that Alison promised him something if he confessed to being her kidnapper.  Ezra isn’t so sure.

Mike is worried about Mona, so he sends Aria to the restroom to find her.  Mona is crying at the sink, and she says that Aria knew right how she could hurt Mona.  Apparently, Aria told Mona that their dad hated her.  Huh.  Interesting.  Mona gives a speech about how she knows Mike deserves someone nicer than her, but she liked him a lot anyway.  Mona says that maybe she should have just died when she fell off the cliff, and Aria yells at her to not say that.  It’s why she built an army, she says.  She also says that, after Alison is done going after Mona, she’ll go after each of the other Liars, because she can’t trust them anymore.  Not after Cyrus, and not after New York.  Mona knows something.  Mona totally knows something!!

Spencer watches Melissa’s video again, talking to Melissa like she’s there.  It must be her way of finding closure.  It’s sad to watch.

Byron is grading papers when Aria asks if Mike had gotten back from dropping off Mona yet.  (No, he’s not back yet.)  Byron asks what happened, and Aria says that they had a long talk in the ladies’ room, but she can’t tell him, because powder rooms are like Vegas and Fight Club.  Then there’s a knock on the door, and Byron says it’s DGG!  Wanting to talk!

Caleb comes home and starts packing his bag in the dark.  But Hanna is sitting in the recliner by a lamp and turns it on in the most dramatic fashion, asking, “Going somewhere?”  It’s wonderful.  Caleb lashes out at her for staging an intervention.  After Hanna says she had been worried about him, he yells that he can’t take care of himself, and she says that he can’t.  Aww, Caleb is finally going to crack.

DGG wants to talk to all of the parents of the girls, and Mr. Montgomery points out that she has the habit of talking without adults being present.  He’s very icy about the whole thing.  I like him for that.  She says that someone is making their homicide investigation more complicated.  DGG says that the police are, indeed, interested in Aria, along with the other girls.  She’s not sure if she was involved in the actual homicide, but she knows for a fact that they are all involved in the complications.  Alison.  This wreaks of Alison.  She’s waiting for one of the girls to confess, and she says that one of them has finally offered to do so.  But she won’t tell him which girl it is.  IT’S A TRAP.

Emily, Spencer, and Aria all swear up and down that it’s not them going to the police, and they say the same about Hanna.  All of them get to the thought of Alison at the same time.  Emily shows them the picture Ezra gave her, and then Spencer says that she has to show them something.

Caleb is telling Hanna the story of Ravenswood.  I watched the first several episodes of that show, and it was weird.  And the acting was bad.  And this is their way of wrapping the show up.  Caleb definitely looks haunted.  And the worst part is that he’s heartbroken that Miranda never came back.  Hanna reassures him, but he insists that he’s different now.  Hanna doesn’t believe him.  He talks about a Ouija board, and says that it’s not a game.  He says that he can sleep, but he’s afraid of his dreams, because that’s the first place Miranda appeared to him.  They agree that they’ve grown, and now they can grown back together.  They kiss and make up, and then THE OUIJA BOARD THINGY MOVES ON ITS OWN WHAT THE HELL???  It points to goodbye!

Spencer shows Aria and Emily the video, and the girls freak out.  They discuss the police, and how Bethany ended up in Alison’s clothes.  Spencer suggests that Bethany was always supposed to take Alison’s place… interesting.  TWIN THEORY, PERHAPS??  (If you’re not up to date on the twin theory, don’t even worry about it.)  Emily has a slip of the tongue where she talks about a picture of A when she means a picture of Alison.  Interesting.

Hanna keeps watch while Caleb sleeps, and she sees fireflies outside, just like in his Ravenswood story.  She gets on her phone to text or something, and suddenly, the camera becomes A creeping through the window.  Wahhhh!

Next week is the summer finale, and it’s supposed to be explosive.  Supposedly, someone dies!  Ugh, this show!  I can’t wait to watch!  Until next week, bitches.

-A.

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